The Easter bunny agreed to take questions during a press conference last Thursday.
He stood at the podium, looking out into a room of reporters – each sitting exactly six feet apart from each other. The Treasury Secretary stood to the right of the Easter bunny – exactly six feet away. Vice President Pence stood exactly six feet to the left.
Dr. Fauci was offstage, holding a tape measure.
“Chairman Bunny,” a reporter began his question, “as the new head of the Federal Reserve Board, how will you help Americans in these trying times?”
“As you know,” the Easter bunny replied, “we already have plans in place to distribute chocolate eggs to every American earning less than $100,000. It’s not their fault we had to shut down the economy. And those chocolate eggs will do a lot to relieve the pain and suffering that goes along with being unemployed for six weeks, six months, or however long it takes. After all, we’re all in this together.”
Treasury Secretary Mnuchin leaned over to whisper something in the Easter bunny’s ear. And Dr. Fauci rushed the stage with a can of Lysol.
“Dammit Steve,” Dr. Fauci cried as he sprayed Mr. Mnuchin and the Easter bunny, “I said six feet. SIX FEET!”
As the Lysol droplets fell to the floor, and the Treasury Secretary practiced the proper amount of social distancing, Dr. Fauci began to exit the stage. He turned for a moment to glance in the direction of the Vice President.
“Don’t even think about it, Mike,” the good doctor said as he raised the can of Lysol.
The Vice President nodded his head in submission.
The Easter bunny started talking again, “As the Treasury Secretary just reminded me, the Federal Reserve has also agreed to buy distressed debt, like junk bonds and troubled loans, from hedge fund billionaires. It’s not their fault they speculated on risky, low-grade debt in companies that even struggled during good economic times, and will almost certainly be destroyed during bad times. We’ll spend about $2.3 trillion on this. After all, we’re all in this together.”
“I’ve also instructed my staff,” the Easter bunny continued, “to look over internet auction sites like Craigslist and eBay, and to buy up any mint-condition rookie baseball cards, collectible Netherlands postage stamps, and Lladró ceramic figurines. It’s no one’s fault we can’t hold garage sales anymore. Right guys?” The Easter bunny glanced to his right and then to his left.
“That’s right,” Messrs Mnuchin and Pence said in unison. “We’re all in this together.”
“Are there any plans,” a reporter in the back of the room jumped up to ask, “to follow the Bank of Japan’s model and expand the Fed’s balance sheet by buying corporate equities?”
“No,” the Fed Chairman insisted. “That would be crazy.”
“But, then again,” the Easter bunny contemplated, “you might re-ask that question a few months from now when Santa Claus takes over my position.”
Best regards and good trading,
P.S. My first Crash Course training session is going live just an hour from now, at 8:30 ET.
Over the next 10 sessions, I’ll show my subscribers what I’m looking at before the market opens for trading, and what specific trading ideas I have on my radar. And I’ll be fielding questions live from the audience at the end of each session.
Now, members of my Alliance tier will be able to access all 10 sessions. But I’ve made a special exception, so all my paid readers can join for the first three.
If you’re not yet a subscriber and want to access this course, a subscription to Jeff Clark Trader is the easiest way to get involved. It’s just $19 per year. And, in addition to accessing my first three Crash Course sessions, you’ll enjoy monthly options trade recommendations and a library of resources to get you started with trading options. Click right here to learn more about a Jeff Clark Trader membership.
I can’t wait to get started. And, I hope you’re able to join me.
Today in the mailbag, we hear from several Jeff Clark Trader members about their gains from a recent recommendation Jeff made…
Jeff, I am so excited. I’m new to options trading, and any kind of trading, just to be honest. And I must admit… it’s a little scary, but I followed your buy alert on XLF and bought one contract. Just dipping my toe in, so to speak. I grew up on a farm just like you did, just one state to the east. So, you have to show me the way, if you know what I mean.
And boy, I am glad I did. I closed my position on your first sell alert and took my gains. It’s not a lot of money, but for me, it was a big confidence builder. It also gave my wife confidence in me that I can make some money this way for our retirement.
We’re both in our late fifties. We were married in our thirties and started our family of six. We still have four children living at home, so we haven’t been able to concentrate on retirement. So, when I saw your Three Stock Retirement Blueprint (Jeff Clark Trader subscribers can access that here), I jumped in. I thought maybe this will be the opportunity we need to build our future. At least it’s a start, and anything is better than nothing at this point in our lives.
So, thank you, Jeff, for your help so far and I look forward to your next alert so I can maybe dip a little
more in than just a toe. But I’ll remember my training, and not over-leverage my account and lose the little confidence I do have.
Hi Jeff, I’m a new Jeff Clark Trader and Delta Report subscriber as of just three weeks. I like your style as I’m just beginning to “re-learn” trading options after being away from it for many years.
I almost pulled the trigger on the GDX trade a week or so ago that you liked, but I did pull the XLF trigger, which has paid for my subscription and then some.
Talk about immediate return on investment! Thank you.
I subscribed two weeks ago and got in on the XLF option trade. After a week, I was able to sell it for more! I’m excited with outcomes like this! I also knew nothing about the stock market before subscribing. Thanks for your lessons to help beginners!
Hello Jeff, I recently subscribed to Jeff Clark Trader and it’s the best $19 I’ve parted with. Although we lag the markets here in the UK, I decided to take the XLF trade that you recommended, although I could only get in at a decent price. I nearly doubled my gain in less than four days! I’m very happy with that.
I also started watching your training videos (paid subscribers can access them here), which have been a great boost to my overall knowledge and have added valuable perspective to the trading landscape. I’m looking forward to learning more and piggybacking from your experience! Best wishes and kind regards from across the pond.
New subscriber here. I just closed on the XLF option and made money in one week. Jeff’s system worked well. I’m waiting for your next recommendation and will keep you, and others, informed. Thanks.
Thank you, as always, for your thoughtful comments. We look forward to reading them every day. Keep them coming at [email protected].